perfect people

Love the lyrics to this song...

Never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live and that's how we try
Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

[CHORUS:]
There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been
And you never have to go there again

[CHORUS]

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see out let grace be enough

[CHORUS]

By a perfect God [5x]

Be changed by a perfect God
Be changed

why do we do this?? When will we finally realize we are all in the same boat? We ALL have imperfections. For some reason, it is so scary to reveal who we truly are. I am so guilty of this. How would the world change if we were all vulnerable and real? It would be so much easier to get along with people, forgive, and relate. In reality, it all comes down to us just fooling ourselves into thinking we are perfect...thank the Lord He still loves those imperfections!

oh to go back to middle school...

<---8th grade dance :)

student comes up to me today..."so ms. millage, my friend, like my BEST friend, well we were but then we stopped talking and he doesn't really like me because we fight a lot and we annoy each other, but anyways he is my best friend in the whole wide world..." so...you hate each other but you are still best friends in the whole wide world...got it.

I miss the days in middle school where nothing mattered. Well, in their heads EVERYTHING is a huge deal including who they will sit next to at lunch today. Middle school is full of drama. Who likes who, who was talking about who, who you have classes with next year, etc. I wish those were our biggest dilemmas as adults. Instead we have bills, responsibilities, jobs, etc. However; as easy as it seems to look at a middle schooler and think 'your problem is NOTHING compared to mine...', that is not always true. I heard it put this way by my FAVORITE comedian Brian Regan one time and it makes so much sense: "think of it this way, when your child has a balloon and they accidentally let go and the wind takes it up to the sky and they are screaming and crying out 'NNNNOOOOOO', and you are saying back to them 'it's ok!! it's just a balloon...we can get you another one!!' Now picture that balloon being your wallet and your child says to you...'it's ok!! it's just a wallet...we can get you another one!!' YEAH RIGHT! We would yell back--'nooo you can't!! my whole life is in that wallet!!! you can't just get another wallet!!' It has made me realize that as much as I would love to go back to my childhood where the problems seem miniscule--they didn't seem miniscule going through them. No matter the age, we are going to go through heartache and assume that it's the WORST and want to be in anybody else's place but ours. I am glad I have successfully made it through those awkward days of middle school... :)

"Fightin' Cougars!"

We did it! Our boys are moving on to the semi's!! I coach tennis at the middle school I teach at and absolutely LOVE it. I seriously look forward to the practice and matches more than anything right now. I love working with these kids. It is such an awesome ministry opportunity. I have never been more at peace with where I am than now. I know God has placed me here at this school for a reason and I am jumping in with both feet. I have learned these past four months to live by a favorite quote that has always been up in the Millage household: "Bloom where you are Planted". For so long I have lived in a dream world or grass is always greener world. I had in my head what I wanted and what I thought would be the best plan for my life. I was going to graduate college and head out to Chicago with my best girl friends, teach there, and explore the big city life for a few years. Everything seemed to be working out until I got THAT call from Caloosa Middle asking me to teach there. There was no way I could reject a job in this economy. As excited as I was that I got a job right after college AND after my first and only interview, I was disappointed that my life wasn't going to pan out the way I wanted it to. Instead of viewing this job as a blessing, I was viewing it as settling back home where I didn't plan on being right after college. 

I can't even explain how thankful I am for this job. My perspective has COMPLETELY changed. I love it here. If I had moved to Chicago, I would have never met these wonderful students, teachers, and other amazing people that have recently walked into my life. I felt as if God has been saying to me daily, "See Elizabeth...TRUST me...you ALWAYS think you know what is best. I will meet you where you are and I long to use you. Stop running and assuming that everywhere else but where you are is better or where you are supposed to be. RELAX and let me drive." I am so blessed. I am so thankful that I serve a God that knows me better than I know myself. I am ready to "Bloom where I am Planted". For now, I am planted at Caloosa Middle and I am so excited about it. We are not promised tomorrow...so I need to take each day and use it for His glory! 

So...the girls lost, yet they tried and had fun! My boys are headed to the semi's and we are pumped. I have 10 boys on the team. 5 had NEVER played tennis before...they literally said..."oh, ms. millage--you are coaching tennis?? I'll play!" They have done amazing. They have really stepped it up and are improving their game daily. We have so much fun. I have paired up doubles that have never played together before and they have come together and been very successful. Even if we lose at the semi's, I am still so proud of them for making it this far. I had started to feel sad when I graduated college thinking that I would never be apart of a team anymore, yet I am starting to like this whole coaching thing! It is definitely different than being a player, yet I love the impact you can make on these students. I am the coach/basically mom that brings the treats and takes pictures. This is definitely my calling. ;)

My big running dilemma…

 

I have run every day for as long as I can remember. I do not run out of guilt, fear of gaining weight, or pressure from other people. I run because I genuinely LOVE to run. I have grown up with parents that run every day so I guess it has been inbred in me. It has always been a habit/routine just like eating. I look forward to it and if I don’t do it, then my day is completely thrown off. However; I have tried to make sure it didn’t completely ruin my day if I was unable to fit it in. There are days when it is nearly impossible to get everything accomplished and run. I used to (still currently working on this) let it affect my mood and realized that it could take on the nature of idolatry. I had to sit back and evaluate to see if I was the same with my quiet time with God. Do I get completely upset/frustrated/annoyed if throughout the whole day I have no time to fit in my quiet time with God? I realized I would run and hold that to a higher standard than making sure I was able to sit and reflect with God. I want to have that same passion for my time with the Lord. I want to view it as running. Running is my escape, my refuge, where I go to think, where I go to be at peace, and that is how I should view my quiet time with God. Don’t get me wrong, I long for my quiet time with God. If I don’t have it one day or was unable to be silent and listen to Him, then my day is completely off. If I don’t get in the right mindset with God every morning, then there is a significant difference in my life.

          So that wasn’t the big running dilemma. As you now know, I LOVE to run. I think it is the most peaceful thing. I have been asked several times over the past few years to run in different 5ks, marathons, sprint triathlons, etc. and have NEVER given it a second thought. My reason for never joining was because I didn’t want to lose my passion and love for running. I didn’t want running to become a job or something that I had to do because I needed to train for the big race. I am not a super competitive person, yet I am with myself. I am so scared that I will become obsessed and then really put running as idolatry. I am biting the bullet though. My mom and I decided last night that we are going to start out small with a 5k and see how it goes. We are going to have fun and not stress ourselves out. When it all comes down to it, who am I here to impress? I need that continual reminder of my audience of ONE. We run 3 miles daily so we think we will be able to handle this one. If my focus is centered on God, then running can be something I do while spending time with Him. Who says you have to do quiet time on the couch or at the dining room table? I am learning to bring these two wonderful things together!

          So…come join me in my FIRST 5k at the Memorial Day “Run the Green” located at the Eastwood Golf Course in Fort Myers! :)

student story of the day: So…we are currently playing floor hockey in class and this one girl has yet to get the whole eye/hand coordination with the stick and puck down. She got hit in the knee today by the puck by a better skilled classmate of hers. Her face was frozen. I quickly rushed over and said “are you ok??” and she looked up at me and started jumping up and down saying “I touched the puck!! I finally hit the puck!!” It made me realize how we all have such different perspectives on things J.

first official blog...not your typical "blogger" ;)

So I have always wanted to blog, yet didn't think I would fit in with the other "bloggers" out there. I always saw blogs that consisted of amazing poems, creative lyrics, or unique stories that I knew I would never enjoy writing so I quickly dismissed the blogging idea. Whether you are supposed to meet a certain criteria for blogging I am not sure; however, I have decided I am going to blog the way Elizabeth (speaking straight from the heart-- as my sister would say) would. So...here goes nothing ;). 

One of the reasons I have decided to dive into this blogging idea is because I used to be a journal freak. I go through seasons of journaling. I love journals. I love to write. However, I also have the tendency to write everyday for a good two weeks and then quit/forget for the next 4 months. I hate that about me. I wish I was consistent with that area of my life. I enjoy going back through my journals and seeing what I was going through back in 2000 and see where God has taken me since then. So...I figured it would be fun/easy to blog on here and then look back years later to see the progress made. That's my blogging story and I'm sticking to it. ;)

I realized last night that I am able to spit out advice like it's nothing, yet I do not always take my own advice. Sometimes I will walk away from situations and think...who was that talking?? I think sometimes God puts me in situations where I am able to give advice, yet really the whole time the Holy Spirit is speaking through me TO ME. Last night God placed an amazing girl in front of me that is going through complete turmoil. I was telling her how we are to "hate our brothers and sisters, parents, and everything in this world in comparison to how much we love God". I kept repeating over and over how NOTHING else in this world matters except how we choose to serve, love, and obey God that day. I told her to hate the sin and not the sinner.I told her that boys will not satisfy every need. I told her that Satan is conniving and is going to use every avenue possible to make her think that she is not good enough, a failure, ugly, and stupid for decisions she has made in her past.  After she left I realized that I know all of that, yet sometimes I get so caught up in giving the advice that I don't live it out. This all goes back to the wonderful book of James that keeps popping up in every bible study I have been to these past few weeks. It is so easy to point out other people's flaws and tell them when they are doing wrong and how to fix their problems, yet when it comes to ourselves we don't want to dissect that. 

If NOTHING else in this world matters and my treasures are supposed to be stored up in heaven, then why do I constantly worry? I truly believe I have been going through a season of brokenness and it is awesome/scary/hard. I am so in love with Jesus. I am so excited that I am going through this season. If my life was easy then there would be no need for a God to depend on. I need Him desperately.